Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Love: Lee, Amanda, and Baby Hudson

Within the past month, I have realized my favorite line of any Christmas song

"...a thrill of hope

a weary world

rejoices..."

Jesus Christ IS our thrill of hope.  Without this much anticipated birth of a baby boy, there would be no hope.  No hope of eternal life.  No hope in the midst of pain, death, or hardship.  No hope of joy.  No hope of any purpose in life.  It is all about Him.  

[Note: I am typing all this while eating a Christmas cookie with my coffee.  yes, it is 8:30am. Proof, I do completely enjoy the commercial things of Christmas. Amen.]

Even though the presents, food, delicious Christmas treats, family, Christmas lights, hot chocolate, presents, and stockings are so enjoyable and fun (nothing wrong with them)....when we take our gaze off ourselves "And look full into His wonderful face. The things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace" [Turn Your Eyes On Jesus].

I absolutely LOVE Christmas time.  I love everything that I listed above. And I enjoy them each year.  But in the light of His grace and His birth, they do grow strangely dim and suddenly seem so insignificant and fading.  

This year, I wanted to be intentional about all the while enjoying baking, lights, the trees, presents, and family that I would look fix my eyes on Jesus....who is our thrill of hope.  This world is so very weary without Him.  And with Him we can REJOICE.  

Should I grab another cookie? 

Max also wanted to say "Merry Christmas" with his jingle bell collar. [We were laughing when we put it on him and it was jingling so much, he got embarrassed and hid under the coffee table :) ]

Size of an Orange and A Lesson on Worry

Around 10 weeks is when I noticed the first sign of a "baby bump" no one else could tell except Lee and I, but it was so fun to see the sign of my baby growing.

Around 13 weeks....if I wore a fitted shirt it would be that "She-kind-of-looks-pregnant-but-it-would-be-safe-to-not-ask-because-maybe-she-gained-weight" stage ;-)

Now at 15 weeks, its becoming more of "baby bump", but I think only people who know that I am pregnant would know it's definitely a baby growing (which I love to think about)! Others are keeping it safe by not asking, haha.  From what I read, our little son or daughter is about the size of a navel orange and can now wiggle fingers and toes and clench fists. So sweet to think of a human so small who is already so well developed! I cannot wait to feel that first movement.

From about 9 weeks - 14 weeks, all I wanted was COLD food - fruit, popsicles, smoothies, etc! Now at 15 weeks and that I am pretty much over the ever-so miserable "sick and nauseous" stage, I do enjoy more a variety of foods, however my go-to/craving is fruit, popsicles, and smoothies! When I was working nights, I would wake up at 5:00pm for work and ALL I could think about was a popsicle.  Needless to say, we had to stock up on them :)

Energy.  I have felt a wonderful boost of energy starting at 14 weeks! I still get tired easier than usual and do need a nap (which I never did) most days, but I love how good I feel most of the time.  Maybe it's just a wonderful difference between now and 1st trimester.

We went for an appointment this past tuesday....No sonogram, but we did get to hear the heartbeat, which is the most beautiful sound.  We got the news that on December 17th we will find out the gender of our sweet little baby! GIRL OR BOY? I have no idea. A lot of moms-to-be have a "feeling". I have none at all and have no preference at all. I just can not wait for that appointment!

We will find out very soon!

I must brag on my wonderful husband.  During the time I felt close to death (weeks 9-12), he was so amazing in keeping the house clean, having something for dinner, and on! I am so thankful for a man who steps up where I could not and sometimes cannot keep up these days.  My love for him grows daily!

Quick something on "Worry".  I have never been one to worry or stress about things that much. When I need to do my part in something I do it to my best ability and hopefully with excellence, then I let the rest go.  I've learned early on from different experiences, stressing over anything does nothing.  Unless it leads you to the feet of Jesus and on your face in surrender.  Now that I have our baby (wow!) growing inside of me, I have already had to fight worry.  With very realistic but scary thought such as "is the heart still beating?", "Is the development and growth happening the way it should?", "Am I doing what I can to keep this baby healthy and growing?".  I've realized with the wisdom of moms that I will have to fight that worry the rest of my life.  I had my first realization of needing to surrender and give this life to the One who created him or her and had the first thought of my baby.

My God is a good God.  Period. I have chosen and have to choose daily to surrender not only my worry but my child to the Great Protector, the Great Provider, Creator, and Giver of life.

It's that weird spiritual tug-of-war of knowing that surrendering is good, commanded, needed but you keep wanting to say "but....but..."  and pull back to your side a little bit.  I need to drop the rope of tug-of-war and walk over to the same side of my Jesus, grab his hand and walk this journey of motherhood with Him, through Him, and because of Him.

I am so thankful for the beginning of this lesson early. Now....the daily choice of obedience.

"B Dub" 10 weeks

WE ARE GOING TO BE A MOMMY AND DADDY!!!!!

We are drowning in excitement and joy right now with this incredible blessing of our first Baby Wilson!! I am so grateful that God saw us fit to be his/her parents :)

Even though we found out on September 6th and have known for a while, it made it so much more real when we saw this sweet baby on the screen and heard that precious heart beat beating away!

Lee videotaped the ultrasound and you can hear us in the background saying continually "wow"...."I can't believe this"...."this is so amazing", and just laughing with excitement! It is truly a miracle that I didn't know my heart could love so much already and be so thankful to God a the same time. 

Right after Lee stopped recording, little B Dub started wiggling around like crazy! It was so amazing to see and I didn't want to stop staring and watching! 

We are saying B Dub because "B-W" doesn't roll of the tongue, so we just shortened it! 

Right now, (well technically tomorrow 10/17) I will be 10 weeks along! Here is a pic a few days ago.  A tiny tiny baby bump is definitely there, but could be confused with "eating too much" right now :)

We found out while we were in Florida in September.  While we are at universal studios one day we decided to pick up our first onesie and as a "souvenir" to glorious vacation news!

I want to capture the fun/funny memories of this beautiful journey on this blog whenever I have new news or maybe every few weeks/milestones.

Even though I know this is a beautiful journey, feeling beautiful is not part of this first trimester loveliness, haha it's actually comical.  You must laugh and move on especially when its for something SO worth it.  Comical: when I am at work and both me and my patient feel the same level of nausea and discomfort.  That is just a pitiful sight to see, y'all. 

I cannot wait to see, experience, and learn more about this sweet child! Please join us in prayer for little B Dub.  I pray the Lord grows this baby in His perfect hands and will and that Lee's and my heart would be open to learning and growing in how to grow B Dub in the Lord as his/her parents! What a sweet, sweet honor.

Thank you everyone who has shown such excitement and celebration on our behalf.  We are so thankful! Each little life is so worthy to be celebrated.

Months of Moments

I haven't captured moments or the last several months on here.  I haven't done a wonderful job at living up to the purpose of my blog..."to delight" in the small, simple things...in daily life.  But, I've been given at least this next minute to change that.

We have had some wonderfully fun and joyful happenings around the Wilson home these past few months.  I have enjoyed them and loved them! My job has really taken over my time and energy, just because of the odd hours I work. However, I need not to let that dictate my attitude or how I enjoy my time.  I've been trying to captivate the balance of working nights, yet seeing my husband who works during the day (AKA: normal people hours, haha).  Even though, I will be switching to day shift very soon, and it will help our schedule, the lesson of "delighting" in the time, the hour, or the second God has given me still needs to be learned because it won't change just with my work hours.  So here's to stepping back, looking at what matters, and enjoying the "moment". No counting down the hours or complaining.

I'm going to stop and document the lovely happenings within the last several months.

Necklaces I made using these instructions for Mother Day gifts. A lot of detail, but turned out prettier than I expected and my mom and MIL loved them!

Micah graduated high school in May. Moved to Fayetteville in August. It's been a blast having him here. He is a stud of a little brother and we love having him 5 min away!

My suitemate, Molly, my freshman year of college got married at a beautiful venue in Little Rock. I got to spend time with my roommate, Casey, of that same year (who got married in April) who was in the wedding.  It was a fun reunion! Loved living with those girls.

I had to learn to do the whole "sleep during the day" thing.  Started night shifts in June! I discovered the humor and use of eye masks through my dear friend Paige, who had a fetish with them.

Speaking of Paige - she said "YES" to the rest of her life with Matt, her long time friend and now love of her life! Her proposed in New York and they flew to Dallas to see family and I was able to surprise her! It was the best of times :)

We traveled to Missouri and Dallas in June to see our families. Oh, how we wish we ALL lived closer. We both have incredible families that I wish we could do "daily" type of things together. Ah, maybe one day...

Celebrated 4th of July and had a summer cook out with friends.  We love having the Gorman's here in NWA.  Never would have thought that my 7th grade friend, Ryan, and I would go to the same college, he would marry my good friend and suitemate, and then we would all end up in NWA.  Love His plans.

In July, we went to California to celebrate the life of my Grandpa Jim.  It turned to be a wonderful time of just being with family. We loved it and needed it. 

We parked our car to meet my Aunt at a restaurant after we flew in to California. Then I saw THE store: Rachel Ashwell.  If you do not know about her stores, designs, or farm in texas. You must. Only if you are Shabby Chic fan.  Then you will drool and also be in heaven. At the same time.

Each morning we sat on my Aunt's porch and had coffee and breakfast as a family: brothers, sisters, cousins, Aunts, Uncles.  It was delightful.  She has the cutest, quaint home with the most gorgeous view you can see through the window.  

The boy cousins posing so...flawlessly..

on the beach.

together.

It was fantastic.

Our trip included shopping, exploring, family time, relaxing on the beach, and a lot of laughing. My family has the best humor and we had permanent laugh lines around our mouth that weekend. 

In August, two of my beautiful dear friends became brides to the love of their lives!  Summer, who became an immediate friend in college full of real conversations and an open, loving heart, married her love, Ryan! 

Charlcie, who I met when I moved to Fayetteville, married her high school sweetheart, Jordan! Laura, Lizzie, Charlcie, and I have become dear friends. We were so honored to share and celebrate this joyful day with Charlcie :)

In September, Lee and I decided to take a vacation to Florida! We turned into little kids as we walked through Disney World.  We laughed as we were convinced (or maybe more me) that Disney World really IS a magical place! 

Our second day, we went to Universal Studios.  Here I am at 'Harry Potter World'.  Even though i am not a Harry Potter fan, this place was amazing! The ride was fantastic and so was the butter beer ;)

For our last two days we headed to Cocoa Beach, where we ended the trip with relaxation and no agenda! It was a treasured, needed time.  Everyone must get away even if its an hour away for one night....and with no agenda. 

Later in September, two of my dearest friends Summer and Elizabeth came to Fayetteville to be bridesmaids in one of our friend's weddings! It was such a sweet time to see them and spend time with them.  It was so fun to catch up on Summer's first month of marriage and Elizabeth's first weeks of being a FIANCEE!  She called me in the beginning of September with the beautiful news of her engagement!  Watching dear friends enter a time that is ordained and blessed entirely by the Lord is a treat. I am so thrilled for her and Chris.  I love her and so thankful for our friendship!

The best news of all summer that we discovered was my brother and sister-in-law, Matt and Erin, are going to have a sweet sweet BABY! Lee and I are thrilled to be an Aunt and Uncle to this precious child.  We cannot wait to celebrate the arrival of little Baby Baxter! 

We've had a lot of fun over the past five or six months.  I want to be better about documenting the little things so I can look back and "delight". A lot of learning as well of how to balance weird sleep schedules, time with each other, moments with friends. I feel like I have been half asleep for most of these months trying to learn how to do the night shift thing, but despite that I want to delight. 

Grandpa Jim "isms"

On July 4th my Grandpa Jim went to be with the Lord.  When I type that my immediate thought is, "I've never met a man so eager to be face to face with Jesus".  

 The past few years, my Grandpa lived in Dallas near and with my family.  I will be eternally grateful for those years.  I was able to spend a lot of time with him, treasured time, learning from him, celebrating his birthdays, hearing stories, and laughing at his great sense of humor.  I don't remember ever feeling such sadness when my Dad called me to tell me about his death. I cried...a lot. However, there is SO much to celebrate about this man besides the Truth that he is with JESUS!

I wanted to blog about some of the "isms" and traits that come to mind when I think about Grandpa.  I told my mom after he passed away, "He was such a quotable man!" both for humor and for truth. 

• When speaking about serving in World War II and the Korean War as a marine, he would say to each individual "You were worth it"
• He taught me the choices I make are evidence of where I find my value and where I find my value will determine the choices I make
• At every chance he had, he would tell each individual, "There is only ONE you".  He wholeheartedly believed in the truth of the value of the individual and their uniqueness. 
• His favorite morning breakfast routine that he repeated "I take a bite of danish, then a bite of banana, then a sip of coffee and I say "Mmm Mmm, Thank you Jesus!" (hahaha)
• He taught the 5th grade for 30 years and always believed it to be "..the best age.  Their minds could be easily molded at that time.  The best time to instill truth"
• The church that Lee and I got married in was right by our house.  In the months leading up to the wedding every time we passed it my Grandpa would say something like "There it is! June 26th we'll be there for your wedding". I always thought that was sweet.
• My Dad's mom passed away when he was in his 20's. My grandpa remarried later on in life.  He survived both of his wives.  One day we were driving in the car talking about them and he said "They both left me for a better Man" (always loved that. so sweet).
• In his last few years, he was in a wheelchair.  Every time we rolled him into a room with several people, still maintaining his humor till the end, he would say "No, no please don't get up!"

I know I could think of so many more and so could my family.  I may add to this post as I think of them, just for my enjoyment later on.  

We went to California for his Memorial service.  I am so thankful for that time.  It was a healing, refreshing time to be with family and talk about Grandpa and all his "isms" until we were blue in the face.  What a wonderful man, full of life and godly character until the end.  He had a wonderful balance of living this life to the fullest while still anticipating his true Home, in heaven.  I pray that I have that fire in my belly for the Lord until He brings me home, just like My Grandpa Jim.  

Eager Preparation

I was about to purchase a new book the other day and thought I better look through our bookshelves to see which books I have not read yet.  Oh my, Amanda...I think I have this problem where I hear about a great book and get all excited because of the glorious wisdom I will gain and buy it....then the wisdom is never obtained because well...it sits there because I am probably reading five other books. Slow it down.

As I was looking through my bookshelf, I saw a few books that I read in preparation for marriage and the first few months of our marriage.  Since many of my friends have had the exciting moment of engagement recently (HOOORAYY!), I thought I would share a few of these books that were a huge challenge and a blessing to me, and were used as a tool to mold me.  These books are for any woman in any stage of  life.

 This is a book for any woman in any stage of life.  This is not a book that directly speaks to marriage.  To some the title may be a turn off because of the word "Discipline".  Don't let that word have a negative tone, especially in the light of what it speaks and its role in your life.  This book discusses the discipline of the Gospel, submission, prayer, worship, your mind, contentment, singleness, marriage, and more.  All these areas, when taken in view of God's intention, will prepare you and build you and encourage you in your role as a wife....(new sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, etc).

The focus of this book is the virtues of a wife and mother that are written in Titus 2.  Carolyn Mahaney does a beautiful job describing how we should be promoting the Gospel in all these areas.  The areas that are written in Titus 2 that she discusses are 1) The Delight of Loving my Husband, 2) The Blessings of Loving my Children, 3) The Safety of Self-Control, 4) The Pleasure of Purity, 5) The Honor of Working at Home, 6) The Rewards of Kindness, 7) The Beauty of Submission.  Note: The "Working at Home" part focuses solely on the calling (and should be blessing) of managing our home, not that everyone should be a stay at home mom.

The same author, along with her husband, of Feminine Appeal also wrote "Love that Lasts: When Marriage meets Grace".  The title was the first thing that grabbed my attention "...when marriage meets Grace".  Amen and amen.  Marriage was created as the earthly picture of our relationship with Christ, which is completely about grace.  Is there even a need for a "therefore" here? :)  The relationship between a husband and wife is intentionally and thoughtfully written in this book.  It covers most areas including role of the husband (leading with love), the role of the wife (walking in wisdom), the content of our communication, conflict, romance, and of course the important topic of sex!

I would've written more about each book and how it impacted me and what were my favorite parts.  However, that would be giving the book away before you read it and I am trying to keep this succinct.

As you prepare for marriage (whether engaged or not) and during marriage, we should always take opportunities to learn and grow in this area.  We always have so much to learn! However, these are the books that helped me leap to those next stepping stones of learning to be a wife.

Another great resource: I have mentioned it before, but you should also check out my sister-in-law's blog .  Besides the fact that she has a masters in Marriage and Family Counseling, she has a passion for marriage and it is evident by her dedication to the resources and wisdom she provides on her blog.

A Story Worthy to be Told

This afternoon, I watched this video about The Story of Ian and Larissa.  I knew immediately I wanted to share this incredible, soul stirring story.  What I love most is the focus and value of it.  It reminds us of the true meaning and value of marriage.  It is the picture of Christ and the Church (us as believers).  In Ephesians 5:21-33, marriage is described as it was intended and within that passage it says, "This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church" (v. 32).  That means the marriage relationship is supposed to reflect, or represent, our relationship with Christ.

The following quote is what is stated in the beginning of the video.  I wanted to write it out because of its profound heaviness and it's worthy to be read and heard.  Their story is a picture of what the foundation of marriage should be and its holy purpose, not what the world has successfully convinced so many couples.  This is an incredible reminder for anybody....even if you have a Christ-following marriage.

"Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically, it is mainly about displaying the convenant keeping of love of Christ and his church.....
....Knowing Christ is more important than making a living.  Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children....
...Either way it is short, it may have many bright days and may be covered with clouds. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way.  Every one of them will not be an obstacle to success but a way to succeed....
...The beauty of the covenant keeping love between Christ and His Church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain."

This video was featured on John Piper's website.  That website is a phenomenal resource for a variety of topics and studies.  The link also offers a free PDF download of the book "This Momentary Marriage" they talk about in the video.