Anniversary + Dessert

Of course, our {third} anniversary looked quite different this year.  Usually we would go out to dinner + dessert, maybe make a full date day, or do a quick overnight stay-cation!

We now have a tiny person who is completely dependent upon on us for his every need. Having to celebrate our anniversary on our back porch was just as romantic + fun as doing any of our other regular choices of celebration. Why? We were celebrating the very thing, marriage, that gave us the sweetest blessing, who was just sleeping right inside our house. 

After work, Lee picked up a delicious meal from one of our favorite Italian restaurants here in Fayetteville. I was wanting to make the outdoor patio "romantic looking", but was having to use what I had around the house because I couldn't run out due to a newborn baby who was still having acid reflux/tummy troubles. To my surprise, my sweet husband came home with wine, flowers, candles, and the cutest candle holders to decorate the patio table. I mean, the man went to Hobby Lobby....by himself....all to make the table special...for me. What a guy!

I wanted to contribute somehow to the evening. So, I decided a few days before I would make dessert. I decided on Chocolate Silk Pie from Smitten Kitchen's Cookbook. [Note: start this dessert day before because you have to let it chill in refrigerator for at least 6 hours].  I knew not to fool myself thinking I could just whip a dessert in an hour. You know, babies have a way of knowing when it's the worst time to wake up or cry...like when you have egg all over your hands or there is one minute away from the oven timer going off [therefore, things burn], etc. So, I started this dessert at 9:00am that morning. Yes. I want to be realistic here with [new] mommyhood. Guess when I finished it? 3:00pm. So don't you go thinking that I was whisking around the kitchen in an apron with my makeup done while the baby slept like a champ. I intentionally started it at 9:00am and worked on it during naps. In the end, the pie was DELICIOUS. So worth it. Therefore, I need to share the recipe [at the bottom].

Right as Lee got home, I was rocking Hudson to sleep. Perfect, right? Lee dishes up the food, light the candles, poured the wine, arranged flowers (oh yeah, he did...and it looked beautiful). I came out of the room, smiling "ahhh, baby is asleep". I grabbed a wine glass and what do we hear on the monitor? Baby is awake. We laughed and looked at each other and I said, "of course!"  I went back into the room rocked him to sleep...Lee brought the food back in and covered it. I got Hudson to go back to sleep and we brought back everything outside to eat. It was a sweet dinner, sitting there, talking and smiling about how different this anniversary was but in such a sweet, blessed way. I mean, my goodness, here we are celebrating three years of life together as husband + wife with the sweetest blessing as a result in tiny human form.  Just as we took our last bite and sipped the wine....baby woke up! Hey, at least we finished dinner :) 

Why am I sharing the small details of that? Because I want to be realistic [and also remember the memories of our 3rd anniversary with a 5 week old]. I posted a picture of our anniversary dinner on instagram. I was thinking later how instagram/facebook/twitter are the highlight reels of our life. It's not a bad thing [I mean, who is like "everybody! Look how awesome I look with the flu!].  However, I know new moms out there [because I've done this myself] may have looked at that picture [and other people's pictures at different times] and thought "oh what a perfect, candlelit, backyard porch dinner......" when all in all, it wasn't as smooth as it may have appeared! 

I would not have wanted to spend our  third anniversary any other way. We were rocking, feeding, cuddling the very fruit of our marriage, which is what we were celebrating that day. We were celebrating real life together and the three years of it that we have done in unity, in oneness. What joy that brings me!

My husband, I would not want to do this real, day to day life with anyone else. You are our rock and you love and serve our family well. Thank you for being my fearless leader and now a fearless leader to a little baby boy, who will forever look up to you. Thank you for loving me past my faults. Going through this new thing of parenthood with you has made me fall even more in love with who you are! 

I love you! 

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Chocolate Silk Pie

The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook

Ingredients

Chocolate Crust: 1 1/2 cup chocolate-wafer crumbs, 2 Tbs sugar, Pinch of salt, 5 Tbs unsalted butter, melted

Filling: 12 tbs butter, at room temp, 1 cup sugar, 3 oz unsweetened chocolate, melted & cooled, 3 large eggs, 1 tsp vanilla extract

Garnish: 1 cup heavy whipping cream, 1 Tbs sugar, chocolate curls shaved from bittersweet bar (optional)

Crust. Preheat oven to 350. Mix together cookie crumbs, sugar, and salt. Stir in melted butter. Press crumbs across bottom and sides of 9 inch pie crust pan. Bake for 10 min. Let cool completely. 

[Note: I could not find chocolate wafer cookies, so I used the chocolate part of oreos. Warning: delicious oreo creme will be left over. Staring at you]

Filling.  In mixer, whip butter + sugar together. Keep mixer going & slowly pour in chocolate. Add eggs one at a time, beating for 5 minutes after each egg. {this is SO important to the recipe}. Blend vanilla in. Spread filling in pie crust. Chill for at least 6 hours. 

Topping. Right before serving, beat cream + sugar together until soft peaks form. Spoon onto pie and spread. Can add chocolate shavings if you would like. 

Dear Hudson {Two Months]

My Dear Boy,

I'm realizing with each week that I'm going to love each and every stage of your growth.  Around 4 weeks old, you starting smiling intentionally at us every so often. But my oh my, this month the smiles abound! This makes your mom and dad's heart full. There is not much sweeter than knowing that you are smiling at us - what great, deep love! 

When you were 5 weeks old, we were doing some "tummy time" (which you aren't always a fan of) and I noticed you were pushing off the floor with one leg. You completely surprised me by rolling over! I reacted with "Oh my goodness! Did that just happen? Are you supposed to be doing that right now?" Getting to experience your growth and discovery is SO fun. I started putting you in your bumbo seat for fun [and holding your head up] just for fun and to help strengthen your back! You seemed to love it....it was as if you were discovering a whole new world being able to see from that position!

You also have been baby talkin' up a storm and smiling. You talk to those who are talking to you, but I especially love hearing you just blabbering away when you're just laying there by yourself taking in the new world around you.  I never will get tired of seeing your sweet smile. It is heart-melting.  As I hear you talk and see you smile, I can't help but wonder what kind of personality you will have.  I do think about the fun days ahead and what kind of boy and man you will be....but, oh...how I am so delighting and loving in these days! You have truly taught me [and I know will continue to] the very lesson I have been trying to teach myself: to delight.  To delight in whatever it may be, whatever moment it may be, conversation, experience, or any "mundane" day.  You are making mommy a better woman by the day....you make me look to Jesus. 

Now that we have your acid reflux under control, we got to go to church for the first time! You did SO well for your first time [probably helped that you had a full tummy going into church]....as CeCe said "this baby was made to worship!" I pray that you will have a heart for worshipping our God.  What a soul-soothing moment it was to be rocking you while singing songs to our King. 

This month has been full of family time, which is our favorite kind of time. Since all of your family [except Uncle Micah, Uncle Britt, and Aunt Cait] don't live in Arkansas, you have become quite the little traveler. We made our way to Texas! Even though you are a pretty good 'road-tripper', we found it works best for me to sit in the back seat with you and Daddy to be our fearless driver. When it's time for naptime in the car and I can't hold you, you seem to love for mommy to hold your paci in and "hold your hand". Don't mind if I do, sweet boy! 

You went "swimming" for the first time. I needed a swim hat for you, but they didn't have your size. I got 0-6 month and well....that did not fit you! Haha, but you sure looked cute even being overtaken by the large monkey hat. I'm sure you will be logging many hours in Nana and Gpoppy's pool. I love introducing you to new things and I know it will become even more fun as your reactions and expressions to new things develop. 

You  got some good time in with your Uncles, Aunt, Grandparents, and Isaac! We LOVED seeing you and Isaac together. Since Isaac is a little older than you, he started recognizing that there was another baby and he would just stare at you. ["There is another one of me here?"].  It was so cute and funny! 

Quality time with Uncle Micah. I think y'all are going to have some big fun
while he is here for college! 

Important conversations with Gpoppy :) 

Hanging out with Auntie E & Isaac

Uncle Matt & Daddy @ 4th of July cookout

Went to your first wedding! Daddy had to take you out of the ceremony,
but you did great at the reception. I think you did great for a 6 week old!

I was so happy you got to meet one of mommy's best friend, Paige and Matt! She will be more of an [honorary] Aunt to you. She loves you and has already spoiled you with some cute outfits. Mommy and Paige were both in each others' weddings and met in college and now here we are....holding YOU!  [That's one of those - wow, I can't believe we are already at this life moment - moment].

The following weekend we made our way to Missouri for you to meet the whole Wilson and Walker family and of course, get some quality time with CeCe and Pops.  Everyone was so anxious to meet their great grandson/great nephew/cousin - and all the other important parts you play in their lives. We had a big cookout on Saturday, eating, holding babies, loving the coos, and smiling at the sweet simplicity of baby-watching.  It was a sweet weekend!

CeCe and Great-Grammy (Mother & Daughter)

Playing with Great-Granny :)

You and sweet little Stephanie (Lee's cousin's daughter). Exactly one week apart! 

Four Generations: Papaw, Pops, your Daddy, and you. Love this picture!

All of your Great Aunts on Daddy's side (missing Aunt Laura, though!)! 

Your Great-Grandma's :)

Your Great-Grandpa's 

Great Uncle Sonny with his great niece and nephew - so sweet!

(Great) Granny and Paw with their two great grandchildren

Taking a snooze at CeCe and Pops house before we go to church 

This month you took your first bottle! Of course, Daddy got the honor of doing that. It was so sweet! I know he loves that he can have this time with you every now and then.  Now that you are taking a bottle well, mommy and daddy can go on a date soon! 

Things I love right now:

When you grab onto the neckline of my shirt while I'm rocking you to sleep

The way you either pout your lips out like you're giving a big ol' smooch or suck that bottom lip in as you're falling asleep

The loud baby "yaahhh" sound that seems to take so much effort when you're talking

The fact that you immediately get happy when you realize the only thing on you is your diaper [or naked]

When you smile [so sweetly] as I come to get you when I hear you waking up from a nap

Thing I don't love right now:

The fact that I need to go through your drawer and take out all your Newborn clothes because they don't fit you anymore.

Even though it is bittersweet for mommy, we love seeing you grow! We are so grateful for our strong, healthy little guy. I'm cherishing each month because I know you will never be two months old again. 

We love you through and through! 

New Mommy Thoughts [First Four Weeks]

I forgot that I wrote these observations down on a draft post as they occurred or as I remembered them. These are observations of the first month of life with my newborn. I wanted to vividly remember the funny and sweet moments that may have slipped my memory after coming out of a sleep-deprived state of the first month [who am I kidding, maybe I'm still in that :)]. I'm sure there are more that I forgot to include, but this will help me smile with deep love and laugh when remembering these moments later on....

You are bound to find yourself doing ridiculous squats or dance moves to lull your baby to sleep or calm a crying baby. {Oh this ridiculous gorilla like squat/sway soothes you? You got it, sweet baby.}. Seriously, you'll keep doing whatever it is that keeps them calm.
..........

No, you can't spoil a newborn. So, yes, you can hold them all you want and not put them down. Then continue staring at them in amazement. For a long period of time. Who knew you could do something so "simple" for more than a few minutes? *love struck*
...........

You've never been so concerned with someone's breathing before in your life. *cue hovering hand barely over chest to feel it rise during the night*
...........

As I study his features, tiny feet, hands, and fingers, I am enamored with God as Creator all over again.
........... 

The ceiling fan could become a quick best friend of the baby. It doesn't need to be spinning. Just stand under it & baby's eyes will fixate. [I've learned it's due to their great interest in contrast].
...........

Most of the day your arms are full of a sweet newborn. There is nothing better, however it does limit you.  In particular, depending on the day, it limits my normal bible study routine at times (writing, turning pages, highlighting, etc). However, it does not limit you to PRAY. I think I've done more praying over the past few weeks.
...........

Working out will be prohibited for 6 weeks or so, but you can't avoid an arm workout on the daily. Many hours of rocking and holding a newborn will bear strong arms.
...........

Sometimes, I stare at him, thinking "Are you really mine?"..."I get to be your mommy?"
...........

Baby Boys: They like to pee....on you. Quick ninja diaper changing skills are necessary.
..........

The weight of a sweet newborn lying on your chest is.the.best.feeling.ever.
...........

Highlighting-page turning-note taking quiet times may not happen often. However, my mother-in-law beautifully reminded me that even though those "type" of quiet times may be lacking, that I am having a quiet time just staring into the beautiful creation of a newborn, that I am seeing the face of God.
..........

The first time you get to [or really have the energy or desire to] just blow dry your hair after delivery, you may or may not feel like you just won a beauty contest...even though your hair is still frizzy...and you don't have makeup on. So, ok, you don't feel like you won a beauty contest, but MAN do you feel good!
...........

When they are first born, babies cannot focus very well. Therefore, you'll have a super cute cross-eyed baby for a little while. With that said, your heart just might melt when you realize they are focusing on you and can see you clearly. 

...........

I've found that most times, Hudson falls asleep to me walking around while holding him. Therefore, I have logged about 5,321,940 miles in my house.

..........

With that said, I think he has given me a preview of his toddler days..... :)
...........

Baby is over the shoulder to burp when you hear *spllttt* on the floor behind you. Yes, that is spit up that launched over the burp cloth onto the floor. Well done, son, well done.
..........

Baby has fallen asleep in your arms, body limp, he is in a deep, mouth-open, deep breathing sleep. You gently lay him down in his bassinet and the eyes POP open as if saying "Mommy, I AWAKE!". And you just ask yourself, "hoooowwww does he know?"

..........

After singing the same lyrics to a song for a long time, sometimes you have to entertain yourself by making up lyrics or a second verse to a song...

Jesus loves me this I know
for the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me (x3)
The Bible tells me so..

Jesus loves you, yes He does
I will teach you His ways and love
So that you may trust in Him
And you'll walk very close to Him
Yes, Jesus loves you (x3)
The Bible tells me so

.........

My last thought: Being a Mommy is the best. 

Dear Hudson {One Month}

Dear Hudson,

You are one month old! It doesn't seem like we have been your mommy & daddy for one whole month, but it also seems like you've always been with us.  I still often stare at you in awe and wonder that you are our son and we are your mommy and daddy. I know you can't understand the words I speak yet, but I tell you "I love you" [enough to fill a novel], about Jesus and who He is, about your family, your surroundings, my hopes and dreams for you, and how I promise to fill our days with adventure, love, fun, and learning.  I know we will have our bad days, but that doesn't decrease any amount of love that mommy or daddy has for you.  We will learn from them and move on. You have already helped mommy stop and delight in the simplest of things and what a gift that is to me.

I'm not going to even try to type here what I was feeling and thinking when I first heard you cry and when they first put you in my arms.  The moment cannot be described [especially with my limited writing skills]. Mine and Daddy's memory will forever hold the emotions and overwhelming love we felt that moment and day. [Note: All the pictures with grandparents & friends are on Lee's computer and I will add them later because this post is already so late]. 

Right after being admitted to the hospital. Waiting for the "fun" to begin! ;-)

Just 5 minutes after you were born

You have provided more joy and love than we ever knew could fill our hearts! Even though our days mostly consist of eating, diaper changes, and sleeping, I absolutely love it.  According to my stash of photos, I can't get enough pictures of you sleeping. Or being awake. or really doing nothing. Because even baby "nothingness" is the cutest thing ever. 

The first 3-4 weeks or so you were so upset and in pain.  Even though you didn't have the usual symptoms, we found out you have acid reflux. It must be so frustrating to be hurting and not being able to tell me. Don't worry, mommy cried a lot too watching you hurt. I promise it will get better and we are making progress [Praise the Lord for medications].

The weekend after you were born, Auntie E, Uncle Matt, and Isaac came to see you! We are so grateful to them for making the trip to come see us. It meant so much to us! We may or may not have had a little fun posing you and Isaac together. I know you two will have many adventures together while growing up. I don't know if Nana and G-poppy know what's coming for them during visits and holidays.

Memaw, Papaw (your great grandparents) and (Great) Auntie Jo came to see you as well! We loved seeing them with you and they couldn't get enough of your sweet little self.  We are so grateful for them making that six hour road trip to come see you at a week and a half old. 

We've also been eagerly awaiting the arrival of Karis Elaine Gorman! Mommy and Miss Emilie have been about 4 1/2 weeks apart in our due dates. We were SO excited when Karis was born on 6.19.13! She is the sweetest little thing. We know y'all are going to be the best little buddies. Playdates will start as soon as little baby Karis and Emilie are settled.  Until then, we are going to bring them food, treats and keep them company when they so desire :) We got to meet this little beauty a few days after she was born. Guess what? Y'all weighed exactly the same at birth - 7lb 14 oz. Mommy may or may not have had a lump in her throat when she got a reality check of how much you have grown in just one month once we laid you next to Karis :)

First friend picture with little angel, Karis

We've also had a few "firsts" the past month.  The first time you met your "puppy brother" [Thank you, cute at&t commercial].  He is large. He is furry. But, he loves you. We talked about you for so long and that he would have a playmate.  Well, we failed to explain to him that you wouldn't be ready to play right away. So, Puppy Brother is waiting patiently.  For now, he will continue to sniff you and check on you as he walks by you while you are sleeping.  He also chooses to lay next to your bassinet often and accidentally rocks it [forcefully] with his large paw as he lays down.  It's a sign of affection and love, I guess.

We had our first bath...no more sponge baths! You screamed something terrible as we placed you in your bath. Then, something amazing happened. A warm, wet washcloth was placed on your little body and *boom* silence and contentment. Not so bad, eh, little man? It is the life.  However, your absolutely favorite part is having your hair washed. I don't blame you, it's my favorite part too at the salon! As the warm water washes over your cute head of hair, you look like you could never be more at peace or relaxed. We laugh every time, well, because your so dang cute. 

It is the absolute best watching you and your Daddy together. He is completely enamored by you. He often says that your cuteness is "just killing him".  He is one amazing daddy and I hope you know someday just how wonderful of  man he really is! You will learn so much from him. Don't worry, you have a "cool dad". So, I don't want to hear any of this "Dad, your embarrassing me" business.  Unless of course, he is embarrassing you, then we will make him do something cool to make up for it.

We are so grateful for your life and existence, little man! We are still in shock that you are ours. We pray for you everyday. We pray for the very day that you're living, about your future, your character, your growing up, and your salvation. We love that you are forever in our lives. Also, I'm not sorry for the amount of kisses that I give you. And I never will be....even when you start to think they are gross. 

WE LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU. [xinfinity]